Kanye Buys Two Big, Shiny, Armored Latvian SUVs

Now that he’s a family man, Kanye West has been looking into buying a nice, safe, comfy ride for his growing family. We hear that he initially test-drove the Volvo XC90 and Porsche Cayenne. But they were missing something… Probably chrome, but maybe also armor. That’s why Kanye has ordered not one, but two, Dartz Prombrons.

Some of West’s fans adore him as though he were god come to life. Sadly, in spite of his shameless self-promotion he doesn’t understand this and does not want to interact with said disciples fans.

The Dartz Prombron (until minutes ago we thought this was some type of canine heartworm medication, not an SUV) begins at $400,000 but Kanye has optioned his Prombrons so that they’ll sell roughly a million dollars each. Two trucks, a cool milli each for half of Kim’s, ahem, assets. Besides, what you think he rap for? To push a [nsfw] Rav4? Apparently, he has more money than taste, we would have recommended a G-wagen, armored of course.

Want to know more? Seriously?! Ok, go here.