The wife and I booked a night at the Ritz in Half Moon Bay over the weekend to celebrate our anniversary, but in reading the yelp reviews I found out that they're a valet only establishment. After reading through the forums here, I decided that the best approach was to tip big right away and park it myself in the valet lot (and keep the key).

That was the plan anyway... so we get there and there's a huge mess of people checking in, apparently there's a bunch of weddings booked for the weekend and a ton of folks were arriving at the same time. I caved and decided to hand over the keys rather than insert myself into the mess (not to mention an angry wife). Before I do so, I quickly did the following...

1) Enabled speed limiter in the instrument panel. I know it won't actually prevent the car from going above the set MPH speeds like a governor, but it does chime and flash "you've exceeded your set limit of blah blah blah. Count: X"). If nothing else, a low-ish MPH tolerance might make a valet think it's got some sort of black box that's recording his actions.

2) 9500ci K-band enabled! Finally a use for this, there's enough k-band crap around big hotels that it sets off the 9500 every time. It emits a terrible screeching beep sound that, to the unfamiliar, makes you think something horrible just happened to the car. When my wife first experienced this, she almost drove it back to the dealership.

I figured good tip + frightening noises + mph limiter would give me some peace of mind, and it worked. The car sat in front of the hotel all night rather than in the valet garage. I picked it up in the morning after brunch... completly covered with salty water spots from the morning mist. D'oh! Ah well, time for another wash.

 

You actually had a good experience compared to many that i have read here .
This one BTW was the worst one .. https://www.6speedonline.com/forums/...ed-advice.html

 

I was thinking that this one could have backfired on you. Screeching beep goes off -- valet guy gets distracted trying to figure out what happened -- Crash! Glad it all worked out for you.

 

Maybe that's why Circuit City folded!?

 

LOL .. Here is part 2 to that story https://www.6speedonline.com/forums/...s-porsche.html

 

Is it possible to just pull the plug wires off of 3 cylinders and thus make the car slow and rough so as to discourage joy riding?
Note to Porsche: provide owners with a smart valet key that governs speed and acceleration by limiting revs.

 

Yowza, I hadn't seen the Circuit City story before! It's interesting though, it seemed like a lot of the valet hoonage stories I found were TT's, they must have extra especial tempting powers. Granted, at CC I doubt much would be safe.

Aerodude, that's a point I hadn't considered! Fortunately there was enough k-band spam in the area that the sensor goes off almost immediately upon starting the car.

 

Learned this years ago if you must valet your car. Bring a paper stickup with you and when you leave the car write the mileage, including tents, and stick it right on the instrument panel.
It has worked for me in the past. I always find the paper on the same way has left. I also alert the valet service that this is what I have done.

 

When necessary to valet any of my cars, I always point out that the car has XXX miles and that the wheels are still perfect.

I ask his name so I can request that he's the one who brings it back so I can properly thank him when it comes back perfect. I'll even ask for his pen so he can see me write his name on my ticket and it helps me remember to ask for him.

I'm happy to wait the extra 5 minutes if he's getting someone else's car when I'm ready to leave.

So far, seems to be effective.

 

I park it myself after heavily tipping and asking the valet. The valet usually directs me right up front

I worked as a valet as a kid. You don't want to know what goes on as the Ferris Beuller treatment was mild

 

I hear you, and that's my plan on all future outings. I just thought it was funny that I basically got what I wanted (parked in front all night), but it was to my own detriment since I forgot about the whole coastal condensation thing. I grew up in the northwest, so I shoulda' known better. No real harm though, just an extra washing when I got home, which I would have done anyway due to all the bug splatter.

 

Great strategy!

 

Is a $20 bill up front sufficient to get your car self-parked up front? Works with my Bentley GTC but my Pcar is many agonizing months away until arrival so haven't a clue as to what's necessary/appropriate.

 

Excellent!

ChuckJ

 

I usually ask to have it parked up front and $20 is normally fine depending in the area. I've also had a horror story re valet parking but lucky it was my DD. the tire walk around is also great idea

Ps. You can't beat the ritz brunch.